lessons…

Well it’s another week, another alert level here in lovely New Zealand as we shift into Condition Red on our Traffic Light system and await the tidal wave of Omicron to wash over us all.

Against my better judgement but always up for some retail therapy, I nipped out quickly on Sunday as soon as I heard we were shifting alert levels and got some extra paracetamol and ibruprofen plus one of those fingertip pulse oximeters just in case. It’s still 4 weeks before I’m eligible for my booster shot and theres no use testing Fate. We’ve had a tenuous relationship in the past, never been the best of friends anyway and despite her being on my side lately (with my ludicrous life plans actually coming to fruition) I am still quite wary of her mood swings.

Judgement. Let’s talk about that for a bit. There will be a LOAD of “I” statements ahead so please bear with me. (See it’s started already)

Now for a start, I’m probably the most quietly judgemental person you will ever meet (Thanks Mum). Well, not so quietly lately, as it turns out my human filter is still pretty much broken from Antarctic isolation (Thanks Antarctica) . I’ll defend that personality defect as being a learned self-defence mechanism thats served me pretty bloody well in the past BUT despite having this psychological attack dog at my side, my downfall always seems to be emotional decision making. I’m a slave to it, it would seem and as such always going against (you guessed it) my better judgement.

Take my latest effort – tiring of repeating destructive patterns, coming up with a sustainable life plan complete with matching ethics, actually enacting it by making hard life choices and working to make myself a better person. Had it all worked out, and accelerating along nicely 4 years into a 10 year plan.

Then…

I meet someone new and BAM … immediately pull the handbrake and go into a flat spin of indecision and uncertainty, all my carefully constructed walls and protective mechanisms crumble, and suddenly I’m 13 years old again blabbing my guts out.

… SKIP TO NOW – Feb 26.

OHHHH just ignore all that. Its amazing what a difference a few weeks can make eh. The sun is out. Life is good, plans are adjusted and head re-screwed back on. My local cafe has put on guest wifi, I’m getting free cakes with my coffee, my guitar has come back from Scott Base in once piece, French lessons are going well, Covid has been survived and … Russia has just invaded the Ukraine.

FFKS.

More on all this tomorrow…..

4 thoughts on “lessons…

  1. Emotional decisions aren’t all that bad. Not any worse than any other decision gone bad. And when you think about whether you’d have done it any other way, you’ll find the answer. Experience makes us what we are. Of course you already know that – adversities and all. So, meeting someone new went well?

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